Paul needs to find himself a better job. It’s not exactly thankless work, but I’m sure the money isn’t nearly enough for a man with such a high caliber mustache. I mean, just look at that thing. He could be using that amazing facial growth to fight crime on the streets of Miami, or to pick up chicks at a REO Speedwagon concert. Never again should he have to be the butt of a Total Self Defense video. Paul must turn that butt around, and kick it like there’s no tomorrow.

I have high hopes for Paul, let’s hope he doesn’t blow his new found mustache power on porn and daytime television.