Great Moments In Advertising: The ’88 Dodge Aries Commercial
This oldie but goodie reminds me that the Intertunnel used to be more fun. It was pixellated, but it was glorious.
You Know The Germans Always Make Good Stuff
You can tell this race is extra hardcore, because they’re using the spectators as mileposts and curbstones and bollards. Spectators don’t have much stopping power, but they pay extra to sit on the curb. Everyone knows that if you hit water hard enough it’s just like hitting concrete. I’m almost positive the same applies to humans. Not that it would ever come to that. The driver seems like he could hit the apex of any corner on Earth at mach speed, driving a golf cart with three wheels, while blindfolded. The golf cart he’s driving in the video seems to have all four wheels, so he’s at a definite advantage.
Every good job has a cool uniform, and their fireproof pajamas are some of the coolest I’ve seen. I guess to them racing is just a job. Just another day at the office. The only difference between me and them is my office doesn’t have 552 horsepower — and I don’t work in an office.
This Guy Understands Marketing
According to George Orwell, advertising is “the rattling of a stick inside a swill-bucket.” Well, marketing is a form of advertising. Or is advertising a form of marketing? I forget which is what. Anyway, one thing I know for sure is that a 1988 Dodge Aries was a swill bucket, so we’re on the right track here.
I have noticed one flaw in the pitch, however. There’s no “call to action” at the end. He should urge you to go out and buy a 1988 Dodge Aries. That’s easier than it sounds, even though we’re in a millennium that begins with a “2” now. That’s because within a few months of manufacture, all Dodge Aries had broken down, been abandoned with the keys in the ignition in a bad neighborhood, been stolen, been abandoned by the thieves shortly after, towed, scrapped, crushed, and recycled into low-grade steel that was subsequently used to make cheap tricycles suitable for step-children. You can buy one at the local K-Mart. To get the biggest savings on your tricycle, make sure to make your purchase 15 minutes before the K-Mart closes, which in general is 15 minutes from whatever time you’re reading this.
Other than that: flawless.
Why You Go To The Races
That sound.
Well, it’s not just a sound. If you’re in the grandstands or the infield, close to the track, the sound is mixed with a palpable vibration and a whoosh of air being pushed aside. It’s great to see the cars from a ground level, too, like in this video.