According to George Orwell, advertising is “the rattling of a stick inside a swill-bucket.” Well, marketing is a form of advertising. Or is advertising a form of marketing?  I forget which is what. Anyway, one thing I know for sure is that a 1988 Dodge Aries was a swill bucket, so we’re on the right track here.

I have noticed one flaw in the pitch, however. There’s no “call to action” at the end. He should urge you to go out and buy a 1988 Dodge Aries. That’s easier than it sounds, even though we’re in a millennium that begins with a “2” now. That’s because within a few months of manufacture, all Dodge Aries had broken down, been abandoned with the keys in the ignition in a bad neighborhood, been stolen, been abandoned by the thieves shortly after, towed, scrapped, crushed, and recycled into low-grade steel that was subsequently used to make cheap tricycles suitable for step-children. You can buy one at the local K-Mart. To get the biggest savings on your tricycle, make sure to make your purchase 15 minutes before the K-Mart closes, which in general is 15 minutes from whatever time you’re reading this.

Other than that: flawless.