Everything Is Terrible, Nothing Will Ever Be Okay
The 80’s were a confusing time. I’m not even sure that it really happened. Scientists have uncovered fossil evidence linked to our civilization during that period, but nothing conclusive enough to prove that the 1980’s actually happened. They found: remnants of Members Only jackets, jazzercise tapes, Keytars, box after box of Baby on Board stickers, New Wave music, an inordinate amount of hairspray, and the stagnant husk of Jimmy Carter; but no solid proof.
I guess the 80’s should remain hazy. Based on everything we found we weren’t doing anything productive, let alone worth remembering. I suppose we’ve collectively agreed to wipe the 80’s from our memory. And maybe that’s for the best. All that’s left is this dating cassette tape, and way too many hair metal bands.