I really feel for the guy in the video. I hate when I get shot with a flare gun and die. It happens all the time and it’s really beginning to get on my nerves. My disembodied ears are still ringing from the last time. At least he got done in quick. After my last flare gun mishap I’ve been reduced to just a head in a jar. My insurance plan doesn’t cover recapitation so I’m stuck like this for all eternity. Now I use my tongue to type and my eyelids to scroll; it’s not so bad after you get used to not breathing or going to the bathroom. Pro tip: On the internet, nobody knows you’re a severed head.

A flare gun wouldn’t typically cause your entire body to disintegrate like you got hit with a holy hand grenade, but in this case it seems appropriate. A video without a violent explosion simply isn’t good enough. We have very high standards here at the BSBFB headquarters. Also, we some very delicious looking donuts in the break room, but no one will carry my jar over.