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The Quest For Poliziotto Superpiù

The Quest For Poliziotto Superpiù

I don’t know who or what Super Fuzz is, but he’s sorta my hero. It’s hard to look cool in the electric chair, but somehow, he manages it. I mean, c’mon, he even puts on his trucker cap like a boss . But who is he? I need to know what on Earth is happening, and I need to know now.

I went to the local library and asked them if they had anything on Super Fuzz, but they said that if I wasn’t going to buy anything I would be escorted out. Technically, the magazine rack at Walmart doesn’t count as a library, but I felt they were a little brusque. Frustrated, I went downtown to the hall of records. They told me they really don’t carry those sorts of records. They said the music was piped in from somewhere, they weren’t exactly sure how it worked, but an instrumental version of Lady in Red got played most days, which was nice.

The intertunnel, who always knows and always watches, says:

Super Fuzz or Poliziotto superpiù is an Italian comedy film about Dave Speed, a bumbling Miami police officer who gains super powers through accidental nuclear exposure.

That’s only a hint of a scintilla of a clue, really. I need to know where I can subscribe to his newsletter, buy his VHS tapes, and where to attend his TED talk.  I’ll keep hunting around and let you know what I find out. In the meantime, I’m going to go expose myself to nuclear radiation. I don’t know if deliberate nuclear exposure is as good as accidental nuclear exposure, but it’s worth a try. 

Keanu Reeves Really Can Shoot

Keanu Reeves Really Can Shoot

Keanu is making a nice living for himself shooting people in amusing ways with the whole John Wick thing. If it wasn’t for him, all we’d have is Liam Neeson shooting people in amusing ways. I never really got the impression that Liam could kick anyone’s arse from watching his grumpy old man goes on a rampage movies, of which there are many to choose from. But it appears that Keanu really can shoot a bit.

Next thing you know, they’ll be telling us that Cary Grant really did sleep with a lot of women.

The Movie With an Excess of Zeal

The Movie With an Excess of Zeal

Free Advice: Don’t try to win an Oscar for an adventure picture the same year that Lawrence of Arabia gets made. Don’t try to make any money, either.

So you get Marlon Brando to annoy Captain Bligh for you while he tries to decide what kind of accent a British person has. That’s supposed to put butts in the seats. But it didn’t. They made a real, live Bounty for the movie, and sailed it all over the Pacific, but even that didn’t help. Brando got a hot looking wife out of the deal, and bought an island or two, but everyone else took a saltwater bath on the deal.

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The Navarong Artillery

The Navarong Artillery

You know, Steven Speilberg didn’t invent Nazis.

The history of moviemaking is only a century old or so. It’s really possible to see all the notable movies ever made. That’s because there aren’t very many of them. A few movies break new ground, one way or another, or at least get the fundamentals of story-telling correct for a  change. Then Hollywood apes them in hundreds of movies until the audience can’t take it any more, and starts watching television. The suits wait for a new messiah to take them from the desert of Victor Mature movies to the Promised Land of The Guns of Navarone.

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