Oh, the hell with that. I don’t want to grow up. I just want to get older. I want to be a giant kid, except I can drive myself to the Toys R Us, and use a credit card to buy whatever I want instead of sticky change I’ve collected for four years in a Dumbo bank.

I want to be able to by my own house so I can go out on the lawn and ruin it without anyone yelling at me. I want to dig worms for going fishing with an excavator, not mom’s garden trowel.

I want to go to the Seven Eleven and buy four hundred dollar’s-worth of D batteries. Just cuz.