How To Make Your Own Ferrari
Unless you’re really, really short, you won’t be able to drive it. Still fun, though.
Dude Bro Dress Code Infractions
There’s one fellow in the video who seems fairly confused. For a good portion of the proceedings, he’s wearing his trucker cap with the brim facing forward. I know, right? I’m surprised his friends didn’t disown him on the spot. How can any self-respecting dude-bro yell WHOOO with his hat on right? It’s an abomination. It also leads to more bad habits. If you turn your hat around forward, pretty soon you’re shaking hands instead of high-fiving. You might even try on a pair of long pants. Leather shoes with laces start to look good to you. Shirts with buttons. Before you know it, you’re talking to girls over dinner in restaurants that don’t have a drive through, and your friends won’t talk to you at all.
Gotta Go Fast
While I’m not too fond of the inevitable downfall of Western Civilization due to a killer-drone uprising, I will admit that they can make some mighty fine videos. Even the word drone bothers me. I’d much prefer to call the quadcopters or fancy RC helicopters. Drone conjures images of predator drones delivering high doses of explodey freedom to the furthest reaches of the world. I’d rather not use the same term for something my neighbor uses to watch me through my bathroom window while I’m showering.
When I Grow Up I Wanna…
Oh, the hell with that. I don’t want to grow up. I just want to get older. I want to be a giant kid, except I can drive myself to the Toys R Us, and use a credit card to buy whatever I want instead of sticky change I’ve collected for four years in a Dumbo bank.
I want to be able to by my own house so I can go out on the lawn and ruin it without anyone yelling at me. I want to dig worms for going fishing with an excavator, not mom’s garden trowel.
I want to go to the Seven Eleven and buy four hundred dollar’s-worth of D batteries. Just cuz.