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Category: RC

When I Grow Up I Wanna…

When I Grow Up I Wanna…


Oh, the hell with that. I don’t want to grow up. I just want to get older. I want to be a giant kid, except I can drive myself to the Toys R Us, and use a credit card to buy whatever I want instead of sticky change I’ve collected for four years in a Dumbo bank.

I want to be able to by my own house so I can go out on the lawn and ruin it without anyone yelling at me. I want to dig worms for going fishing with an excavator, not mom’s garden trowel.

I want to go to the Seven Eleven and buy four hundred dollar’s-worth of D batteries. Just cuz.

The True Borderline Sociopathic Boy Uses Whatever’s Handy To Pick Up Chicks

The True Borderline Sociopathic Boy Uses Whatever’s Handy To Pick Up Chicks


OK, OK, so maybe she’s a little “broad in the beam.” When it’s Last Call, and Miss America ain’t showing up, the true Borderline Sociopathic Boy knows a girl wearing stack-soled go-go boots is worth a flyer. She’s up for anything. Why, I bet she’ll let you pick her up off the ground with two RC helicopters, and will also go halfsies on a suitcase of Bud Light. No sense looking a gift horse in the mouth.

(Sent along by Gerard at American Digest, who still picks up girls the old-fashioned way — hitchhikers)