Of course this is Russia, not the Gem State, so people named Napoleon doesn’t do so well in the winter.

The video is titled “Russians preparing for the Olympics.” I began to wonder what the Olympics would look like if Russia got to choose all the events. Lessee, there’s the Chernobyl spent fuel rod long jump, the Siberian outhouse visit relay, and the Crimean hammer and sickle throw. They’d have synchronized St. Vitus dancing. Freestyle polonium speed dating. Greco-Roman subversion. Cross country frayed strap dragging. Molotov badminton. Nordic combined breakdown lane luge.

Hey, wait a minute. That sounds way better than the regular Olympics, and dashcams on all the participants is way, way better than pinkeyed Costas any day.

(Thanks to tovarisch Zherar Van der Leun at American Digest for sending that one along]