Browsed by
Category: sledding

Hey Napoleon. It’d Be Nice If You Could Pull Me Into Town

Hey Napoleon. It’d Be Nice If You Could Pull Me Into Town


Of course this is Russia, not the Gem State, so people named Napoleon doesn’t do so well in the winter.

The video is titled “Russians preparing for the Olympics.” I began to wonder what the Olympics would look like if Russia got to choose all the events. Lessee, there’s the Chernobyl spent fuel rod long jump, the Siberian outhouse visit relay, and the Crimean hammer and sickle throw. They’d have synchronized St. Vitus dancing. Freestyle polonium speed dating. Greco-Roman subversion. Cross country frayed strap dragging. Molotov badminton. Nordic combined breakdown lane luge.

Hey, wait a minute. That sounds way better than the regular Olympics, and dashcams on all the participants is way, way better than pinkeyed Costas any day.

(Thanks to tovarisch Zherar Van der Leun at American Digest for sending that one along] 

Hi. I’m A Professional Amateur Sledder

Hi. I’m A Professional Amateur Sledder


Human beings eventually remove the fun from every activity. It’s in our nature. The Olympics are a great example of this phenomenon. Pretty much every Olympic event started out as some sort of fun, or maybe some form of productive activity, like killing people that looked at you funny, but they all eventually turned into a thousand pages of rules with Bulgarian judges deciding who wins.

Somewhere in the dawn of antiquity, a couple of guys dragging their crap around on sledges looked at each other and said, “You know, Grok, it might be fun to slide down the hill on our travois, and see who gets to the bottom first. Last one down has to gut the mammoth!”

Humans can ruin anything if you give them long enough.

Sledding Is An Art Form, Not A Sport

Sledding Is An Art Form, Not A Sport

I see those fools in the Olympics sitting like passengers in an engineless Prius, dressed in matching spandex union suits and wearing their short-bus helmets, and that’s when I know money can ruin anything. You need to get snow down your pants, and at least risk crashing into one another, or you’re not even trying.