It’s A Lot Easier To Just Tell Your Kids That The Tooth Fairy Was Hit By A Bus

It’s A Lot Easier To Just Tell Your Kids That The Tooth Fairy Was Hit By A Bus


Kids just want dad to read them a story and get them a glass of water.Is that good enough for a dad? Hell no. Every demand on dad’s attention, no matter how trivial, must be met by an insane outlay of time, effort, and money until you achieve some bizarre jumbotron-wedding-proposal-grade reaction from your target audience.

Your wife told you to sneak a quarter under the kid’s pillow, so you of course spent eight hundred dollars and expended two hundred man-hours to do it. She can’t help but notice that the kid still just ended up with some change, and the towel bar she’s been asking you to hang in the bathroom is still in the package, four years after you moved into your house.

Towels dry faster when they’re on the floor, anyway.

2 thoughts on “It’s A Lot Easier To Just Tell Your Kids That The Tooth Fairy Was Hit By A Bus”

  1. Looks a little like overkill. With 7 kids in the family, I think the tooth fairy was raiding our piggy banks to satisfy our requests, i.e., giving us our own money back.

  2. Overkill is an understatement. Of course, when he sells the house, he can advertise it as having a pneumatic transport system. That might be good for an extra $1.98.

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