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Getting Our Currency Back On The Rube Goldberg Standard

Getting Our Currency Back On The Rube Goldberg Standard

I believe that technically, this isn’t really a Rube Goldberg machine. I could be wrong, either way. It doesn’t really do something simple in a complicated way. It just falls down, sorta. Although, it’s certainly falling with style, ain’t it?

Please disregard the continent-sized forests that were flattened to produce enough Kapla blocks to produce this video. All those pine trees were blocking someone’s view of something important anyway, I’m sure, like four-lane highways or strip clubs or Walmarts. Of course the truly ecologically minded understand that you can always buy a wood furnace and burn the blocks for heat. There’s enough there for three heating seasons, easy. That makes this stash of blocks more valuable than the gross domestic product of several countries who’ve debased their currency. They should go back on the Rube Goldberg Standard, and use wood blocks for currency, and eliminate the middleman.

(Thanks to the estimable Charles Schneider for sending that one along)

Jiwi Goldberg Machine

Jiwi Goldberg Machine

This is the first time I’ve ever wanted to install a Rube Goldberg in my bedroom. Then again this is the first time I’ve wanted to install much of anything in my bedroom. I still haven’t got around to setting up my bed, or bringing in any other furniture, or unpacking my clothes. I suppose I should stop sleeping on a flattened cardboard box before I consider starting any major Rube-Goldberg-related projects.

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Clearly Fake – The Marbles Are Paid Actors

Clearly Fake – The Marbles Are Paid Actors

You’d think that hamsters would be better than marbles in this maze because they’re sentient mammals. However, I learned the hard way that that isn’t the case at all. One time, I grabbed a bunch of hamsters from a pet shop so that I could create a machine like this one using them. Since these are living, breathing animals with senses, I figured I could make them do whatever I want. But the dern things just wouldn’t cooperate! I tried everything I could to get the machine going, but they wouldn’t obey me.

If I had actually bought those hamsters, I’d ask for a hefty refund, and demand more cooperative, and less frantic hamsters.

No Flower Vases Were Harmed in the Making of This Video

No Flower Vases Were Harmed in the Making of This Video

Joseph was always very slow in the morning. He would usually slog out of bed for half an hour and go to work two hours late. His wife hated these antics so much, she decided to set up an elaborate booby trap to severely injure Joseph when he woke up the next morning (that’s the Rube Goldberg machine you see here). However, the trap backfired and now Joseph was all dressed and ready to go. He clocked into work half an hour early, impressing his boss and his workmates.

Joseph’s wife was currently seen shopping for divorce lawyers, anyway.