You guys remember Icarus, don’t you? Well, this is Icarus’ little brother. The one they didn’t mention much. He wore that helmet you see in the video on the school bus. Licked the windows. Ate paste. You remember him in Geography class, don’t you? He thought the Ottoman Empire was a furniture store. Yea, that’s him; that’s the guy. He believes he can fly.

(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest, who knows that every man should believe in something, and generally has it covered by believing he’d like another drink)