Look, it’s only a matter of time before this happens. Not a lot of time, either. And we’re going to get what we’ve got coming. We’re going to get a Terminator with the manners of Twitter and the mindset of a blog commenter at 2 AM. It won’t be reasoned with, it won’t be bargained with, and it absolutely will not stop until we stack our our boxes. Or the batteries run out.
I’d really like to see a battle royale between every type of street performer. Any kind of fight to the death involving jugglers, magicians, buskers, and mimes would be delightful. If you filmed it and then sold it to the general public you’d make a killing. Everyone loves a good melee, especially when there’s a fair chance that mimes will be harmed in some way.
In a true street performer melee, I’d put my money on the magicians. They saw people in half for giggles. Lord only knows what else they have up their sleeves. Magicians are usually kinda scrawny, but they do have that evil Van Dyke beard thing to scare their opponents. Don’t sleep on the magicians!
The true borderline sociopathic boy likes a healthy regimen of exercise and yelling. Take this crossfit routine. It’s got your USRDA of frantic activity and grunting. To simplify things, however, we’ve found that you can leave out the exercise altogether. As long as there’s a lot of yelling, you’re on the right track.
Remember, gym memberships are expensive, but highway overpasses are free. You can get a great workout by simply yelling at passing cars and waving your arms around like those inflatable tube-dudes outside the used car lot. Of course, you don’t want to be mistaken for a simple vagrant, so be sure to wear a unitard so they’ll know you’re a fitness buff and not a lunatic.
https://youtu.be/WuP78X6H5JU
Sometimes there’s a man — I won’t say a hero, because what’s a hero? But sometimes there’s a man, and I’m talking about Morishowta here. Sometimes there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that’s Morishowta in Japan. And even if he’s a strange man — and Morishowta was most certainly that. Quite possibly the strangest in Japan, which would place him high in the running for strangest worldwide. But sometimes there’s a man. Sometimes there’s a man…
Aw. I lost my train of thought here. But — aw, hell. I’ve done introduced him enough.