Hang On a Minute, I’m Hurling

Hang On a Minute, I’m Hurling

Comments 0 Comment

I barely know what’s going on, because no one in the video speaks English, but I like hurling so I hung in there. I’m also unsure why the host is talking into a popsicle with BALLS written on it, but I don’t judge.

To my unaided eye, the Wexford and Kilkenny teams seem to be a bit robotic. The crowd is somewhat subdued, too. The players run funny, as well. It’s like their cleats don’t fit quite right. Perhaps they’re poor folks, and can’t afford proper footgear, so I won’t mention it again.

You know, I got used to broadcasts of American football with the first down line projected onto the screen. It only took me five or six years to adjust. So I imagine I’ll get used to having little arrows, nametags, weird concentric circles, and incomprehensible symbols in a box all over the screen. Luckily, the announcers speak the international language of organized sports: They yell GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL! It really helps.

So I figure I understand what’s going on pretty well, all things considered. However, I still have one question about the video’s title. What’s a “Playstation”? Is that the brand of television they’re watching the broadcast on?

A Ride in a 1956 Jag You Er

A Ride in a 1956 Jag You Er

Comments 0 Comment

Le Mans is one of those races that people who have never seen an auto race know about. It’s been immortalized in a bunch of movies. It’s always nifty to see the cars pass through the Dunlop rubber rainbow, and dodge the regular traffic and bicycles on the road on a non-race day. Driver Mike Hawthorne strapped on about a hundred pounds of microphone to give us some idea of what it’s like to buzz around the track. Fantastic

I Want a Flying Flamethrower. Bad

I Want a Flying Flamethrower. Bad

Comments 1 comment

To hell with my flying car. I want a flying flamethrower.

I don’t even want a self-driving car, never mind a flying one. I can run over bicyclists and crash into light poles just fine on my own, thanks. I want a flying flamethrower. I don’t want AI to pick out my clothes, or my next video, or run my stock portfolio. My clothes are all Christmas presents, everything on Netflix is equally bad, and I don’t have a stock portfolio because I got sued for running over those bicyclists, remember? But I want a flying flamethrower, yessiree. Stop using technology to do things I don’t care about. I don’t need a backup camera on my car, I need a flying flamethrower. I don’t need a smart meter. I need a flying flamethrower. Melt down that CAT scanner and make me a flying flamethrower, pronto.

Now, I’ll grant you that there is a faint possibility, and I mean very faint, that this thing might be used for less than productive activities. Nefarious reasons, even. I have to admit that. I have to admit that because that’s what I’d use it for. The nefariouser the better. And I’d giggle the whole time. I want a flying flamethrower.

If a Tree Falls in the Forest, But It Doesn’t Get Posted to YouTube, Does It Make a Sound?

If a Tree Falls in the Forest, But It Doesn’t Get Posted to YouTube, Does It Make a Sound?

Comments 1 comment

We here at the BSBFB believe human beings, especially male human beings, could use a little more unstructured folderol in their lives.

So, for instance, here we have ingredients: An ocean to jump in, a little bike to ride, a little duct tape and foam, and a bunch of friends. There aren’t any rules. Just amuse yourself and your friends. That’s it. If this isn’t unstructured folderol, I don’t know what is. I’m sure they all went home sunburned and scraped and happy. The only problem, if there is one, is the camera.

We’re watching this on YouTube, so it would be easy to say that we’re part of this problem. But when the desire to produce a video artifact trumps the desire to do the actual thing, the world is upside down and backwards. Which it is.

Duct tape some foam on your kid’s bike and roll off a cliff into the ocean, and make a video. That’s fine. We’ll watch it, I promise. Go the next day, without the camera, just because you want to, and the same thing becomes sublime.