I Want a Flying Flamethrower. Bad

I Want a Flying Flamethrower. Bad

To hell with my flying car. I want a flying flamethrower.

I don’t even want a self-driving car, never mind a flying one. I can run over bicyclists and crash into light poles just fine on my own, thanks. I want a flying flamethrower. I don’t want AI to pick out my clothes, or my next video, or run my stock portfolio. My clothes are all Christmas presents, everything on Netflix is equally bad, and I don’t have a stock portfolio because I got sued for running over those bicyclists, remember? But I want a flying flamethrower, yessiree. Stop using technology to do things I don’t care about. I don’t need a backup camera on my car, I need a flying flamethrower. I don’t need a smart meter. I need a flying flamethrower. Melt down that CAT scanner and make me a flying flamethrower, pronto.

Now, I’ll grant you that there is a faint possibility, and I mean very faint, that this thing might be used for less than productive activities. Nefarious reasons, even. I have to admit that. I have to admit that because that’s what I’d use it for. The nefariouser the better. And I’d giggle the whole time. I want a flying flamethrower.

One thought on “I Want a Flying Flamethrower. Bad

  1. Guy I work with got a “Not a Flamethrower” from Dr. Evil…I mean Elon Musk. Used it once, giggled like a madman, then put it back in the box, where it’s been for over a year. He also has two cases (minus one) of propane that will never be used sitting next to it. No imagination, I guess…

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