Sometimes There’s a Kicker

Sometimes There’s a Kicker

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I won’t say a hero, ’cause, what’s a hero? But sometimes, there’s a kicker. And I’m talkin’ about the Patriots kicker dude here. Sometimes, there’s a kicker — well, he’s the kicker for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that’s the Vinatieri dude, from Foxboro. And even if he’s a lazy man – and kickers are generally that, sitting on the bench for hours at a time. Quite possibly the laziest kicker in Dallas, which would place him high in the runnin’ for laziest worldwide. But sometimes there’s a kicker, sometimes, there’s a kicker…

This Video Seems To Be Mislabeled

This Video Seems To Be Mislabeled

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See, its says there on it, “Embarrassing Dad at Electronic Music Festival.” That’s crazy tawk.

I see an embarrassing son in the video. He’s too sheepish to get down wif his bad self, like dad is. He refuses to knock his bony knees around and get down wif the funk, y’all, ugh!

The little turd is just looking off into the middle distance thinking about Minecraft or something. He’s never going to be a fly guy like his old man. He won’t even wear his auto-darkening bifocals with the obese receptionist lanyard goodness.

I’ll give him a pass on the Tom Selleck starter kit his dad’s got going. Hormones have their own schedule, and can’t be bargained with, or reasoned with, and they absolutely won’t stop until, well, you need Viagra. But you gotta make the most of what you’ve got. Would it kill you to pull your black socks at least halfway up to your knees?

Evel Knievel. The Father of Our Social Media Country

Evel Knievel. The Father of Our Social Media Country

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Get that? He’s a “professional daredevil.” Now there’s a man ahead of his time. Back in the day, you couldn’t get into trouble simply by asking to borrow a hole punch from a girl in your office. She knew what you really meant, and HR has been notified, you creep.

Anyway, way back before social media, you had to really try to get fired from your job. It was even harder to become a celebrity for no reason. Stunts were just stupid stuff you did with your friends for free until the police or the ambulance showed up. You’d only get your name in newspaper as a cautionary tale, not as a hero. It’s understandable, considering the times. The circus was still making its way across the country, setting up their flammable tents full of parolees, geeks, and fire eaters to amuse and delight. You had to up your game to get noticed by harming yourself. Evel Kneviel is one of the first to see the potential in busting his ankle for for views and likes. He’s the father of Tumblr, Giphy, and Twitter all rolled into one.

BMXellent

BMXellent

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Great stuff. It’s just the sort of antics you can perfect when you have too much time on your hands. If you’re going to be hanging around parking lots, you might as well make use of all the pavement. When you watch videos like this one, it’s kinda sad to see so may empty playgrounds. If the BMX riders and skaters didn’t use the tennis courts and basketball courts, who would?

(Thanks to friend of the BSBFB Charles Schneider for sending that one along)