Shiver Me Timbers, Eh?

Shiver Me Timbers, Eh?

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The John Franklin Expedition through the Canadian arctic was quite an undertaking. However, the mysterious details of the expedition are even more fascinating. Parks Canada will unveil the historical artifacts of the HMS Erebus and the HMS Terror for all the world to see. We will find out about every nook and cranny of this expedition in the name of history.

Personally, I’d like to find out how all those plates and bottles stayed in their shelves underwater. I need that kinda tech in my house.

Chrome, Sweet Chrome

Chrome, Sweet Chrome

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Our ol’ friends here are back to repair this 1960 Plymouth Fury. It is a mighty attractive car, mainly because of the chrome trim. Now, I come from the future, and all cars are covered in chrome. In fact, absolutely everything is covered in chrome in the future. We have chrome chairs, chrome bathtubs, even chrome houses. I have an adorable chrome cat, and chrome grass grows in my lawn. Now, you may be thinking, “Why chrome?” Is it the only metal available in the future? Maybe chrome serves a structural purpose; maybe it makes everything work better.

Well, it’s because chrome looks cool.

If the Women Don’t Find You Handsome, They Ought to Find You Handy

If the Women Don’t Find You Handsome, They Ought to Find You Handy

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I met a guy like this once. The handy type. He was an auto mechanic by trade and he claimed he could fix absolutely anything. In the time I knew him, I watched him fix three burnt out cars, twelve old lamps, and he even rewired two whole houses. Since we were somewhat friendly, he offered to fix anything I needed, free of charge. This was very generous of him, so I called him up the other day to ask for some help with a few odds and ends. However, I was quite disappointed when he flatly refused to help. He said, “Sorry bud, I really can’t help you with that. That’s between you, God, and your proctologist.”

Ever since then, I lost all respect for the man — and I still can’t sit down.

Name One Kilt-Wearing Physicist — I’ll Wait

Name One Kilt-Wearing Physicist — I’ll Wait

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uH0hikcwjIA

An American director was filming a documentary in the Scottish Highlands when an old Scotch seer came walking up to the crew and said, “Tomorrow rain.” then hobbled off. Sure enough, it rained the very next day. A few days later he hobbled past again and said, “Tomorrow sunshine.” His prediction held true again and it was a beautiful sunny day. The director was very impressed with the old man and hired him to forecast the weather. Every day the wise old sage would hobble onto set and predict the weather accurately, but after a couple of weeks the old man didn’t show up. Concerned, the director went to the old man’s shack at the edge of a nearby glen and asked, “Hey, we need your predictions so we can plan our shoot today, why didn’t you come on set?”

“Radio broken.” the old man replied.