Now, This Russian Guy Is A PROFESSIONAL

Now, This Russian Guy Is A PROFESSIONAL


My driving advice to everyone, be you Slav or Croat, Frank or Anglo-Saxon, is to “keep it between the trees.” Of course, it’s not crazy Ivan’s fault that the trees ended, and he was faced with decision-making time. One could fault his decision-making skills, of course, but this is a Russian dashcam video; by the standards of Russian dashcam videos, this dude is a phlegmatic genius. Normally in these situations, there’s a four-hundred-car pileup and some sort of explosion visible from space stations.

Not this guy. He goes in the river LIKE A BOSS. Watch it again. Disregard his calm, composed speech. Never mind his steady hand on the tiller, er, wheel as he enters the maelstrom. Forget all that. After he hits the guardrail, on the way down the slope, he TURNS THE WINDSHIELD WIPERS ON.

You wish — you dream — you were half as Russian as this guy.

A Merlin V-12? Oh, That’ll Fit In A ’55 Chevy. No Prob

A Merlin V-12? Oh, That’ll Fit In A ’55 Chevy. No Prob

If you’ve got a spare Supermarine Spitfire engine lying around, and have unlimited time and money, you too can own a 1955 Chevy Bel Air with a 3000 HP engine rammed into it. It helps if you’re crazy, or Australian, which is a lot the same. But then again, I’m an American, which is like an Australian only with better diction.

Somewhat disappointed that the owner wouldn’t allow the host to let this bad boy off the leash. I wanted to see it take off, or explode, or go supernova, or whatever might happen when that sort of pedal hits that sort of metal. A feller can dream. 

The Borderline Sociopathic Navy For Boys

The Borderline Sociopathic Navy For Boys

And to think your mother wouldn’t let you have a BB gun because you’d shoot your eye out.

Of course, a BB gun is no where near as dangerous as a kayak. This fellow no doubt built a submarine out of a kayak to make it safer. If you’re going to end up upside-down with your legs in a knot in a sort of socket, you might as well be watertight.

If someone buys you a kayak, keep an eye on that person. They mean you no good. Have any food they offer you tested. Check under your car when you leave their house. A person that purchases you a kayak is not to be trusted. 

And Yet You’re Afraid Of Hitting The Curb

And Yet You’re Afraid Of Hitting The Curb


Ah, the three-point turn. It’s been sorting humans into two camps for generations. Are you simply inserting that index finger into the yoke of the steering wheel and spinning that bad boy, glancing in your mirrors, and reversing direction like a boss? Or are you looking for a parking lot, or perhaps taking three rights and a left, even if it adds ten miles to the trip?

But I do think we now need to add a third camp of direction-reversing person. And this guy is living in it all by himself.