My driving advice to everyone, be you Slav or Croat, Frank or Anglo-Saxon, is to “keep it between the trees.” Of course, it’s not crazy Ivan’s fault that the trees ended, and he was faced with decision-making time. One could fault his decision-making skills, of course, but this is a Russian dashcam video; by the standards of Russian dashcam videos, this dude is a phlegmatic genius. Normally in these situations, there’s a four-hundred-car pileup and some sort of explosion visible from space stations.

Not this guy. He goes in the river LIKE A BOSS. Watch it again. Disregard his calm, composed speech. Never mind his steady hand on the tiller, er, wheel as he enters the maelstrom. Forget all that. After he hits the guardrail, on the way down the slope, he TURNS THE WINDSHIELD WIPERS ON.

You wish — you dream — you were half as Russian as this guy.