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Pfffft. This Is How Everyone Drives On Route 128 In Boston When Two Inches Of Snow Falls

November 13, 2013 aubuchon

When I was a little kid, I had Matchbox cars. They were really cool. They were exact replicas of real vehicles. I had hundreds of them. I’d pay ten bucks apiece for the Rolls Royce Silver Shadow or the pipe truck right now.

Then came Hot Wheels. I thought they were absurd. They were all strange and misshapen versions of cars, with weird stickers and flames all over them. I thought at the time that cars could never, ever be made to look that garish and infantile and tacky in real life. Apparently I was very, very wrong.

Awww Yeah. Like A Hive Of Angry Bees. Like The Sound Of Zeus’s Zipper. Motocross Noise

November 12, 2013 aubuchon

Finally, someone made a video of anything suitable for this website that didn’t have a soundtrack taken from Otto the bus driver’s eight track collection.We want to hear those carbon emissions blattering out into the ether from a red hot tailpipe, thanks,

Gravity Is A Harsh Mistress, And The Only Mistress You’re Ever Going To Have If You Don’t Stop Knocking Dominoes Over 24/7

November 11, 2013 aubuchon

It’s the Borderline Sociopathic Boy in all of us that makes these videos delightful to watch. We’re not watching videos of dorks standing oblong plastic slugs in neat rows for days on end, after all. This isn’t the Borderline Obsessive Compulsive Ritalin’s Best Customer Blog For Boys. We’re not interested in watching the video of your mom tapping her foot with arms folded and pursed lips waiting for you to CLEAN THIS MESS UP RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN. No, we just want to watch your little orderly, concatenated world burn.

I May Have An Idea To Avert The Insolvent Social Security Fund Problem

November 10, 2013 aubuchon

I say we replace gym class in school with parkour. The video is in the lovely city of Cambridge, in the UK, but I’m sure you can find something for the local kids to climb all over in most cities in the US. Anyway, they’ll be in the best shape of their life, so we’ll save lots on diabetes medicine and so forth, and not a manjack of them will live to collect Social Security. Lots of jobs will be created scraping them off the pavement, too. It’s a win/win/win.

Hmm. Give ’em all a squeegee and a squirt bottle to carry along, and they can do the skylights while they’re up there. See? It’s a win/win/win/win.