https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJqwu2Bfq1A
My name is Rex, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of self defense that I developed over two seasons of fighting in the Octagon. It’s called Rex Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.
At least the bear has a bright future in IT if the Muppet Show ever tanks. He’s a natural. I worked at an IT call center for a while; then I started threatening to behead everyone who called. I was quickly relieved of my duties, but I’ll fondly remember my three days of gainful employment. As you can imagine I never had the patience. I don’t suffer fools gladly, and fools call the police on me often. It’s not a good combination when you have to interface with humans every day. On the other hand, the bear seems like he can handle anything.
Ah, the French: When they’re not busy surrendering, they’re throwing themselves off of cliffs for giggles. There are many people that I know who wouldn’t oppose seeing a Frenchman thrown off a cliff. I assume they mean without a parachute, but I consider that to be inhumane. Someone would have to clean up the mess afterwards, and I can’t think of anything stinkier than a Frenchman’s giblets.
Way out in East there was this fella — fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Scythe Guy. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. Scythe Guy, he called himself the Scythe Guy. Now, Scythe Guy — that’s a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Scythe Guy that didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise.