Well — At Least He’s Outside

Well — At Least He’s Outside

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At least he’s wearing pants. At least he’s not grunting and thrusting at the camera. At least he’s not doing a lot of thing. He seems to be doing a lot of hard work, which we can never approve of. Squatting is also a no-no. If it can’t be done in an afternoon while standing up it’s not worth doing. I know that limits your options, but it’s the only way to go. We’re all very busy people and we simply can’t be bothered with activities that require more than 5 minutes of work and a fifth of cheap scotch.

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It’s My Party And I’ll Cry If I Want To

It’s My Party And I’ll Cry If I Want To

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We’re striking out this week when it comes to music. I’m sorry fellas, I just can’t help myself. When I find something awful, I need to share it with you lovely people. Not because I think you want it, but because you deserve it. Everyone needs to have a chuckle at someone’s expense. Even if it’s not that much of an expense. I feel like I’m doing a public service by shoveling this crap back to the forefront of the Intertunnel. I’m like a great explorer, or the curator of an art exhibit. I’m like Indiana Jones but less masculine and completely useless at everything.

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The LA Dodgers Take Their Name Too Seriously

The LA Dodgers Take Their Name Too Seriously

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https://youtu.be/dLWdFeefFIA

We’re the LA Dodgers, and if you study with our eight-week program you will learn a system of being terrible at everything that we developed over two seasons of sleeping on mattresses stuffed with gold bullion and hundred-dollar bills. It’s called Dodger Kwon Do! After one week with us in our eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to run with the strength of an LA Dodger’s fan, the reflexes of a throw rug, and the wisdom of a man.

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Please Stop — You Don’t Have To Do This.

Please Stop — You Don’t Have To Do This.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWmfNeLs7fA

Dude, you’re at a 10 right now; I need you at about a 7. For the love of God try to tone it down. We’re all sensible people, and we know that you’re going through a lot right now, but you don’t have to do this. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t throw it all away by doing a foolish thing like becoming a deranged Russian techno singer.

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