The LA Dodgers Take Their Name Too Seriously

The LA Dodgers Take Their Name Too Seriously

We’re the LA Dodgers, and if you study with our eight-week program you will learn a system of being terrible at everything that we developed over two seasons of sleeping on mattresses stuffed with gold bullion and hundred-dollar bills. It’s called Dodger Kwon Do! After one week with us in our eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to run with the strength of an LA Dodger’s fan, the reflexes of a throw rug, and the wisdom of a man.

At Dodger Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you’re gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here? Take a look at what I’m wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys? Forget about it.

Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I’m a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it! Now, for only $300 you can sign up right now — for my eight-week program.

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