I’ve Looked Sauron In the Eye
I’ve tugged on Superman’s cape. I bought ice cream from a truck covered with human skulls. I’ve torn the tags off the mattress. I called Bill Brasky the wuss he is.
Spiderman Was a Fraud
Spiderman? Please. The Monkey Man of Chitradurga Fort in southern India is the real deal. Radioactive spiders bite him, trying to get superpowers. He just scratches the bites, they have no effect.
Sooner Or Later, The English Language Wins Out
English is a funny language. It’s a polyglot thing. Words come and go, depending on how useful they are. English steals whatever it can’t make up on its own, too. With apologies to Moe Szyslak, we don’t call it a carhole. We stole the word garage from the French. Or the French surrendered it, I guess. Whatever.
A Modest Proposal
This stirring spin around the Le Mans circuit in 1956 gives me an idea. The video was a lot of fun on its own merits, of course. Look at how far our technology has come in the intervening half a century or so. The camera on the back of the car weighs about enough to make the Jag pop a wheelie. In the spot where your GPS goes in your car, Mike Hawthorne has his wife’s makeup mirror to look at. The microphone apparatus looks like a bizarre dental experiment.
But one problem hasn’t been solved in the intervening years. I’m informed that there’s a population problem that needs fixing, or we’re all doomed, doomed I say. Every newspaper in the world explains to me that we’re running out of everything, and it’s because there are just too many people on Earth. We’re going to run out of food, water, icebergs, gasoline, single-family split-level ranches, rhinos, bumblebees, polar bears, and three-cent stamps any day now, and we have been since this video was made. Something must be done! This video gives me an idea.