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Category: What it was was football

Football-Like Behavior Detected

Football-Like Behavior Detected


So the New England Patriots lost a football game on Sunday, called for Pushing and Shoving Without A Hall Pass, or maybe it was Unsportsmanlike Conduct: Dad, He’s Looking At Me, or perhaps someone used salty language or something. I really couldn’t figure out what they were talking about, and am beginning to lose interest. Go be concussed somewhere else.

But every once in a while, football-like behavior is detected. It’s almost worth wading through the commercials to see it. By the way, speaking about the commercials, doesn’t anyone in America have a vehicle to drive already, and why can’t they get a boner? And what exactly are you and the old lady gonna do in two bathtubs?

Rules For Borderline Sociopathic Boys, Chapter One: Never Dance On The Five Yard Line

Rules For Borderline Sociopathic Boys, Chapter One: Never Dance On The Five Yard Line


Of course, Chapter Two is: never dance in the end zone, either. Try to look like you’ve been there before, and intimate with your behavior that you plan on being there again.

At first I thought this was a Leon Lett-grade failure; but upon reflection, Leon’s team won that game in a blowout, so he’s just an amusing trivia question. These basketball dudes? A loser is a loser, man.

BTW, to return to the football analogy, the true Borderline Sociopathic Boy knows it’s not “celebrating” they’re doing in the endzone. It’s taunting, or showboating, or grandstanding, or maybe hotdogging, but it all boils down to: acting like a raging a**hole. Don’t be “that guy.”

Yellow Flags Are Becoming Badges Of Honor

Yellow Flags Are Becoming Badges Of Honor


It’s a clean block. Clean blocks aren’t allowed if they’re too effective.

Don’t be too effective. That’s the zeitgeist. Lay off. Slack. Go through the motions. Pretend you’re not winning. Pretend you’re not losing. And for Pete’s sake, don’t follow the written rules. There’s another set, and they matter more.

Here’s to number 80. He’s our honorary Borderline Sociopathic Boy of the day. Then again, maybe number 10, the fellow that got leveled, should be an honorary Borderline Sociopathic Boy too. He didn’t throw the flag.

Pretty Much What The Borderline Sociopathic Blog For Boy’s Home Office Looks Like

Pretty Much What The Borderline Sociopathic Blog For Boy’s Home Office Looks Like


Ah, the cubicle farm. It’s a signpost of civilization. Let the barbarians work outside where the sun shines brighter than 20 pound, 92 brightness copier paper. Three carpeted walls, a plastic drip tray under a roll-around chair, and an endless supply of coffee from a carafe that’s never been washed  is all the thinking person needs. 

That, and motivation.