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Category: slow motion

Jackson Pollock Eat Your Heart Out

Jackson Pollock Eat Your Heart Out

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Y’know, I was a bit of an artist myself. But I didn’t paint sunsets or pretty women or anything like that. Instead, I made state IDs. That was my little art project. I would come up with a fake name and made-up credentials which would wildly differ in each card. Then, for the photo, I would dress up and wear make-up to change my appearance. I’d basically come up with an imaginary person with each state ID I created. I would even pretend to be that imaginary person sometimes.

Later, I discovered that I was what they called a “con-artist”, and apparently it was illegal. Some people just don’t understand art, do they?

Everything Is Better In Slow Motion. Even Warmed-Over Internet Barf

Everything Is Better In Slow Motion. Even Warmed-Over Internet Barf

Kids these days and their memes or mee-mees and their may-mays, or whatever they call them. I can’t get out of bed in the morning without seeing a meme. Like pogs, and everything else that kids have shoved up their noses for generations, the very idea of meems will likely disappear into the ether like so many other bad ideas. You know, like Zima. Anyway,we could band together to stop memes. Maybe if we formed some sort of commission, or stopped reproducing as a species, we could wipe out the ma-may menace.

Or you can chuckle and move on. It’s entirely up to you.

I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE — And Crumpets

I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE — And Crumpets

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Far beyond the Crazy World of Arthur Brown, we have the Slow Mo Guys. From what I can tell, their entire job revolves around breaking, blowing up, eating, puking, stabbing, slashing, shooting, and eviscerating random objects and filming it with a slow-motion camera. If I could give them some sort of award for awesomeness, I would, but they already have my dream job, so the only thing I’ll give them is my burning jealousy.

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It’s Not The Fall That Kills You — It’s The Sudden Stop At The End

It’s Not The Fall That Kills You — It’s The Sudden Stop At The End

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Falling down has never looked this good. I think the whole not dying part helps make it a lot more appealing than it normally would be. I’m all for falling off of high things, but I have stuff to do afterwards. I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t like the idea of coughing up my splintered shins after a decent fall. I’m a proponent of falling off of small ledges and other obstacles that you can safely walk away from afterwards. Every once in a while, some pansy might rupture their spleen, but what difference does it make? As long as no one goes splat, there isn’t an issue.

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