Browsed by
Category: Russia

And On The Eighth Day, God Created Dashcams. And On A Really, Really Bad Saturday Night Not Long After That, He Got Hammered And Created Russians

And On The Eighth Day, God Created Dashcams. And On A Really, Really Bad Saturday Night Not Long After That, He Got Hammered And Created Russians


I’d say there was something in the water, but of course they don’t drink any of that. I’d chalk it up to all the Russian TV stations showing The Road Warrior on Saturday mornings instead of Sesame Street, but then we have to get into the whole nature vs. nurture thing, and that doesn’t explain the butcher knife the fellow keeps on the dashboard for emergencies. That’s more of a Cub Scout “be prepared” kind of thing. So we have to look at socialization into groups as well as in the home — a home I assume is on fire most of the time one way or the other.

Anyway, Russians are an enigma wrapped in a mystery and basted with vodak, with a dashcam pointed at them, no question; but we can learn so much from them about how to behave when, well, unusual circumstances rear their ugly heads. This video is no exception. So if a fight between Julia Child and Sam Spade breaks out in the future, I know how I’m going to bet.

Idyllic Bucolic Cyrillic Scene Improved By The Splashing And Crashing Tractor Factor

Idyllic Bucolic Cyrillic Scene Improved By The Splashing And Crashing Tractor Factor


Somehow, I’m reminded of Kramer and Newman on the subway playing Risk. Ukraine not weak!

Anyway, fractured Soviet block aside, it’s still more entertaining than taking 2000 lefts and stopping at a gas stations with all the attendants in spandex uniforms every once in while. 

[Thanks to our friend Charles Schneider for sending that one along]

Russia: Now Funkier Than A Polonium Enema

Russia: Now Funkier Than A Polonium Enema


Disbanded Parliament Funkadelic, tovarisch. He causes the Caucases to do the Cakewalk. I count forty-six oblasts having an Oh! blast. Shirtless Putin’s Polka lays on the dynamite like Napoleon. The Urals Shag and the Arals Salsa. Chernobyl was just a sparkler compared to his disco ball. Herds of miniature giraffes do the Funky Chicken in his yard. He’s bad, he’s nationwide. Criminy, the Crimean is doing the Cat Daddy to the sound of his pan flute.

He can’t be reasoned with. He can’t be bargained with. And he absolutely will not stop until you surrender to his one nation under a groove, or expect a blast from his bop gun. Ugh.

And The Worst Part Is That Russian Lakes Don’t Validate Your Parking Ticket

And The Worst Part Is That Russian Lakes Don’t Validate Your Parking Ticket


This video infers that this video is from Russia, but I have my doubts.

Now, I don’t want to be that guy.  You know that guy on the Intertunnel. First he writes “first” in the comments, and then he writes “Fake! Thats so fake lol.Your a looser if you don’t know that’s FAKE” He writes that, no matter the topic. Moon landings, the Holocaust, Pearl Harbor, the World Trade Towers, the efficacy of childhood immunizations and an all grapefruit diet — it doesn’t matter what you’ve got, it’s fake.

As I said, I’m not that guy. I’m fascinated with the ingenuity of our doughty slav salvors. They’re daring, and their method is ingenious. But I couldn’t help notice, while I was watching, that one of them appeared almost sober. Also, the lake isn’t frozen solid right to the bottom. Durn near subtropical. That can’t be Russia, can it?