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Category: Norway

Tenk Fort!

Tenk Fort!

If you’re not in the know, tenk fort means “think fast” in Norwegian. Each in their own way, I think everyone in the video manages to think fast. They all seemed to decide in an instant whether to catch or not catch the objects thrown to them. Doing nothing by design is a decision, isn’t it? And deciding to do nothing in a hurry is certainly one definition of tenk fort.

However, the BSBFB would like to encourage more people need to lighten up. When a nord starts throwing fruit at you, don’t scowl and slink away. Embrace those bananas with open arms. Think of all the times you needed a banana, and didn’t have one. I bet every person has had a banana crisis of some sort. Take all the emotions from that dark period and channel them into your new outlook on life. When life give you lemons, at least catch them. You may not want to make lemonade, but it’s always handy to have a projectile to hurl back at people who throw stuff at you.

Scritti Politi

Scritti Politi

Two loose cannons. Doing it their way. They go outside the law to enforce the law. Thor help a suspect they get their manicured hands on. There’s no good cop, bad cop routine for these guys. There’s bad cop, and you don’t wanna know how much worse cop. These guys roam the mean streets of Kyrkjebyrkjeland, or Tissvassklumptjønnin, or Sædingsdragdrenken, or some other urban Nordic wasteland where crime not only pays, but pays by direct deposit.

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Boating Should Never Be Attempted Sober

Boating Should Never Be Attempted Sober

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qHdPhkSSNQ

Now, I don’t like to argue with ads, but I feel like this one is a little inaccurate. The only way that fellow could possibly have docked his boat with such bravado is if he was completely blitzed. And I mean absolutely smashed. Completely derailed. I’m talking white-girl wasted. Boating can be dangerous if you’re sober, so why take the risk? Down whatever you can find and hit the seas. Now you won’t have to worry about the dangers of boating, and you can actually enjoy it instead of focusing on every minute detail.

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Bartender, I’ll Have A Frosty Nord On The Rocks, Please

Bartender, I’ll Have A Frosty Nord On The Rocks, Please

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the fjord
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Nord
The vodka was placed by the lake bed with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be there

This is one of my favorite iterations of the classic Christmas poem. I feel like it really captures the three essentials of the season: ice, vodka, and tinsel. Coincidentally, ice, vodka, and tinsel are the main ingredients for a drink I like to whip up at parties called Mrs. Claus’s Tumbler Of Regret. It would be an absolute smash if I was old enough to drink, or I went to parties, or I was invited to parties, or if I knew anyone who threw the sort of parties that I would be invited to. But other than that, the drink’s a hit with everyone who’s tried it.