Way out East there was this fella — fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of John Coffey. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. John Coffey, he called himself John Coffey. Now, John Coffey — he didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise.
You know, the Germans make good stuff. Great trains, tanks, ball bearings, pop songs; you know, stuff like that. They’re good at producing the highest quality of everything. There’s a reason why Vince from Sham Wow proudly announces that his borderline-functional shammys are made in Germany. Germany has a long and storied history of making good stuff — and invading France.
He’s back, and he’s better than ever. Serial Blog For Boys post-ee Jones has made a glorious return with his new business venture, Jones’ Good-Ass BBQ and Foot Massage. Two things that I never thought would go together have been fused into one slimy mess, and I love it. He’s turned his big-ass truck rental and storage shop into an international empire. It’s like he’s unleashed Cthulhu onto the business world. Nothing will ever be the same. I expect that he’ll start opening truck stop saunas and Chuck E. Cheese methadone clinics in the near future.
Things are beginning to heat up over here at the Blog For Boys. I’m not talking about the video, either. While it’s true that we’ve been delivering sizzling hot videos every day for a while now, a lot’s been going on in the background. The northernmost half of the Earth is tilting towards the Sun, or something like that, so the weather is strangely bearable. When I can be bothered to get out of bed in the morning, I throw open my windows and greet the new day by shouting at passing cars. During the winter, I find it difficult to keep up with my hobbies, which is why I relish every day of the spring, summer, and fall. I can’t go out in my underwear and terrorize the neighborhood when it’s -20 degrees outside.