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Category: movies

The Navarong Artillery

The Navarong Artillery

You know, Steven Speilberg didn’t invent Nazis.

The history of moviemaking is only a century old or so. It’s really possible to see all the notable movies ever made. That’s because there aren’t very many of them. A few movies break new ground, one way or another, or at least get the fundamentals of story-telling correct for a  change. Then Hollywood apes them in hundreds of movies until the audience can’t take it any more, and starts watching television. The suits wait for a new messiah to take them from the desert of Victor Mature movies to the Promised Land of The Guns of Navarone.

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In a World Where Oompa-Loompas Stalk the Countryside and Bathe In the Blood of Their Victims, One Man Will Try to Rule Them All

In a World Where Oompa-Loompas Stalk the Countryside and Bathe In the Blood of Their Victims, One Man Will Try to Rule Them All

There’s no earthly way of knowing, which direction we are going. There’s no knowing where we’re rowing, or which way the river’s flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a–blowing?

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The Plot Of Every Jurassic Park Movie

The Plot Of Every Jurassic Park Movie

That just about sums it up. Nothing more to see here. The movie’s over; everyone can go home. Get the hell out of my movie theater.

Well — you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here. Go home to your wives, girlfriends, concubines, or other assorted companions. If you don’t have anyone to go home to, try hitting on the girl running concessions; she’s game for just about anything. Offer her some fresh popcorn for once and she’ll go loopy for you,

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All Your Lolcats Are Belong To Us

All Your Lolcats Are Belong To Us

https://youtu.be/a7k112vDJgk

Way out West there was this fella — fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Kyutaro. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself.Kyutaro, he called himself Kyutaro. Now, Kyutaro — he didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise.

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