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It’s Sturges Bike Week. Get Your Mopeds Running. Head Out On The Highway

It’s Sturges Bike Week. Get Your Mopeds Running. Head Out On The Highway

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If you’ve never heard of it, the Sturges motorcycle rally is sorta like a Jimmy Buffet concert with more Jack Daniels, or a Gathering of the Juggalos with less meth. All the fun is of the sort that you’re not supposed to have anymore. You know, doing donuts and eating donuts. The girls dress like strumpets and expect you to look at them, unlike every office building in America where the girls dress like strumpets and sue you for looking at them.

It’s a little weird seeing the Harley motorbike culture becoming wholesome compared to other American subcultures. Everyone in the video seems well-adjusted and happy. They must not get good phone service in Sturges, and are forced to have fun instead of texting and forming Twitter mobs to protest things. It is amusing to notice that all the events are sponsored by insurance companies, however.

Hand Me That Spanner, Will You Horst?

Hand Me That Spanner, Will You Horst?

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No wonder the German economy is in the toilet. Well, OK, it’s not in the toilet. Actually, it’s almost always pretty good. I mean, one of the biggest in the world.

Let’s start over. No wonder the German economy is only eleventy times bigger than the Greek economy. The fools have let this video of how to make a BMW motorcycle engine get out on the internet! Now I can simply watch the video, and then make my own BMW engine. Why would anyone buy one when the instructions are right online?

Say can anyone suggest a video on how to make a BMW motorcycle chassis? I’m asking for a friend.

 

Father Time Rides A Chopper, Son. Don’t Mess With Father Time

Father Time Rides A Chopper, Son. Don’t Mess With Father Time


You’ve heard of old man strength, haven’t you? For the uninitiated, thousands of times every day some whippersnapper tries to mug some old guy outside the bingo hall and gets their ass handed to them when grandpa gives them a taste of what he gave the Wehrmacht back in the day. Or maybe you think you’re going to go all road-ragey on some old coot that’s driving a medicare sled in the left lane with his turn signal on, but you find out when you get to the side of the road that he won’t cooperate, and instead of pleading for mercy he gives you the old what-for. Beware old man strength!

So, young feller, you bought a Hayabusa or a Cowabunga or whatever they sell down at the rice rocket shop — and you probably had your mom co-sign for it, to boot– and you’re feeling like you’re the master of all you survey just now, but let me offer you a word of advice: Keep your eyes open and your trap shut when the old dudes are talking. You might learn something.

Perfecting Your Pavement Handshake

Perfecting Your Pavement Handshake

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There really isn’t any practical reason to ride a motorcycle, is there? While it has more legroom than a Honda Fit, and more horsepower than a Lexus, it’s not really a practical mode of transportation for most people. For instance, when you’re coming home after being out shopping, where are you going to carry your bacon, whiskey, shotgun shells, and cans of Beefaroni?

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