You’ve heard of old man strength, haven’t you? For the uninitiated, thousands of times every day some whippersnapper tries to mug some old guy outside the bingo hall and gets their ass handed to them when grandpa gives them a taste of what he gave the Wehrmacht back in the day. Or maybe you think you’re going to go all road-ragey on some old coot that’s driving a medicare sled in the left lane with his turn signal on, but you find out when you get to the side of the road that he won’t cooperate, and instead of pleading for mercy he gives you the old what-for. Beware old man strength!

So, young feller, you bought a Hayabusa or a Cowabunga or whatever they sell down at the rice rocket shop — and you probably had your mom co-sign for it, to boot– and you’re feeling like you’re the master of all you survey just now, but let me offer you a word of advice: Keep your eyes open and your trap shut when the old dudes are talking. You might learn something.