Perfecting Your Pavement Handshake

Perfecting Your Pavement Handshake

There really isn’t any practical reason to ride a motorcycle, is there? While it has more legroom than a Honda Fit, and more horsepower than a Lexus, it’s not really a practical mode of transportation for most people. For instance, when you’re coming home after being out shopping, where are you going to carry your bacon, whiskey, shotgun shells, and cans of Beefaroni?

Let’s face facts. Motorcycles are for showing off. They’re designed for doing donuts and impromptu dermabrasion. There’s really no reason to own one except to take a spin on the organ donor roulette wheel once in a while. Even if you wear a helmet that isn’t a do-rag, sooner or later grandma is going to pull out of her driveway without looking and T-bone your sorry ass. You might as well perfect your pavement handshake now. Sooner or later, it’ll come in handy, I tell you what.

8 thoughts on “Perfecting Your Pavement Handshake

  1. Motorcycles are for riding. Priuses are for showing off (your lack of brains to other idiots, I suppose). Fits & Lexuses are for keeping you out of the rain, or something.
    Bikes are quite practical, although I ride primarily for health reasons. You never see a motorcycle in front of a psychiatrist’s office.

  2. You’d’ve gotten a kick out of the Harley parade I saw one time, Greg. In Russia! I kid you not, tovarich! I was making my way down the whatevertheycall those street things in Saint Petersburg, and here came this parade of motorcyclists, all on Harleys, and waving the flag. The Russian flag!

    It’s a true story, and as a bonus I got to roll out a compound contraction.

  3. The oil pickup in the engine was running dry during that entire episode. The engine is fried.
    I’m not impressed.

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