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Category: Japan

Japanese, And Chinese, And Korean! Oh My!

Japanese, And Chinese, And Korean! Oh My!


Japanese, Korean, Chinese; who’s keeping track? I don’t know where this is from, and I’m far too lazy to Google translate the title. If I had to wager, I’d say that it couldn’t be Japanese, but I’ve been wrong before. There’s not enough tentacles, curiously sexual robots, or manic schoolgirls for this to be Japanese. Or maybe it is, and they’re taking a much more subtle approach to presenting their bizarre sense of everything. I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest.

I can narrow it down a bit further by absolutely guaranteeing that it is not Chinese. The Chinese get weird, but they never incorporate anything this sophisticated into their pseudo-propaganda footage. There’s not enough happy workers or red backdrops, so that’s a dead giveaway. It can’t be Korean because there aren’t nearly enough people playing Starcraft while girls dressed like a Dollar Store Madonna feed them peeled grapes. There would also be banner ads for computer gaming equipment covering every inch of the screen, so Koreans are completely out. This brings us back to the Japanese.

At first it didn’t seem strange enough to be Japanese, but now that we’ve eliminated every other possibility we can conclusively say that the video is from Japan. I’m mildly disappointed, because this marks a low point in their weirdness, but it’s still pretty far out. It would have been a lot easier to just Google translate the title and see what language comes up, but categorizing the video tendencies of the three most prominent Asian countries was viscerally satisfying for me — minus Russia.

Don’t even get me started on the Russians.

(Many thanks to our good friend Charles Schneider for sending this one our way)

Japanese Schoolgirls Make Everything Better

Japanese Schoolgirls Make Everything Better


OK Go has a long history of making great music videos out of alright songs. They’re not bad songs, just alright.

I will freely admit to listening to a few OK Go songs on my own accord, but it doesn’t go much further than that. I’ve never owned a full OK Go album, and I’ve never felt compelled to. I know they come out with an album ever couple years, but they’ve all flown under the radar for me. Every once and a while they make an awesome YouTube video out of one of their newest songs, and that’s the last that I’ll hear from them for a year or more. I’ll throw a couple OK Go songs into heavy rotation on my media player for about a week, and then they’ll get supplanted by another artist. It’s nothing personal, just business. No one’s listening to the songs anyways, it’s all about the videos.

OK Go without the videos is just ok. I’m sure they’d still have a wide fanbase full of dedicated listeners, but their YouTube videos make them into a force to be reckoned with. Their videos are interstellar, man. If they Beatles had someone making videos like this for them, Paul McCartney would be emperor of the Galaxy instead of an ex-member of Wings.

Man, The New Bjork Album Is Fantastic

Man, The New Bjork Album Is Fantastic


At least, I think that’s Bjork. I haven’t really been paying all that much attention to the underground Japo-Scandinavian-Austrian-Icelandic yodeling scene. Personally, I much prefer Australian-Tibetan throat singing, but to each their own.

Despite all outward appearances it seems that this is not Bjork and I have made a grievous error. I’d apologize to Bjork and her several fans, but they’re already coming to beat me like a rented mule, so I don’t know if an apology would reach them before they reached me. But the joke’s on them, they’re going to have to get in line if they want a piece of me. My house is already under assault from NASCAR fans, the Bull Moose party, the Nashville Metro PD, and several UN peacekeepers. I’m pretty sure that the fellows from the UN actually want the house next door, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were coming to give me a stern talking to as well.

Even though it’s probably too late, and it’s very likely that even more people are coming to destroy my lawn, urinate in my shrubs, and throw eggs at my mini-van, I’d like to say that I’m sorry. As a token of my sorryness, my sorryosity, and my sorryitude, I’d like to present the third greatest yodeler to ever don a lederhosen:

If you’re still here after all that you’re welcome to take a run at me. I thought blasting yodeling from every digital orifice would’ve been enough to scare everyone off, or at least weaken them somewhat.

Do You Even Science, Bro?

Do You Even Science, Bro?

Ah, the Japanese: what won’t they do? I’ve seen a lot of strange things come out of Japan since they emerged from the primordial Intertunnel goo, but this is by far the most sane Japanese video I have ever seen. Other than the psycho babbling over the whole thing, it’s thoroughly wholesome. There aren’t any maids being assaulted by octopuses, there’s no intense body horror, and everyone is dressed appropriately. Everything is thoroughly aboveboard — and that bothers me.

This video is good, clean, sensible fun, and I wish it wasn’t. Where are the midget sumo wrestlers? Where are all the disturbingly realistic body pillows? Where have they put all the lingerie-wearing anthropomorphic farm animals? What happened to the Japan we all know and love? After watching a YouTube video from Japan, we shouldn’t have to question their lack of tentacle porn and frightening animatronics. The only thing we should ask ourselves is whether we bombed them too much — or not enough.