I served with Wile E. Coyote. I knew Wile E. Coyote. I sold anvils to Wile E. Coyote. I co-signed on Wile E. Coyote’s line of credit at Acme Corporation. I was Wile E. Coyote’s personal trainer. I lent Wile E. Coyote my supply of dehydrated boulders. Wile E. Coyote was a friend of mine. Base Jumper, you’re no Wile E. Coyote.
(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest for firing that one at us)
I said, “woo.”
Just woo. I’m not really sure why I said woo. It just seemed like a woo kind of thing. woo-ish. It was a woo-type event. Not extremely woo-y. But fairly woo-y, surely. Not even upper-case woo. Simply: woo. Let’s not get nuts. But, woo.
The typical Borderline Sociopathic Boy needs woo in his diet. Scientists have been unable thus far to come up with the Minimum Required Daily Allowance of woo required for strong bones — but regularly fractured, I admit — and good teeth, which occasionally need to be picked up off the ground, or the ice, or the striped lawn, of course. Anyway, if you feel that you need more woo in your diet, watch the video twice.
woo
Good news, everyone! Videos like these demonstrate why the Social Security Trust Fund is no longer in danger of running out of money, because there’s no way in hell that the next generation will live to collect it. Half of them will die of diabetes and heart attacks before they’re forty from doing nothing but watching YouTube videos all day while eating nothing but Beefaroni from the can, Pringles, and washing it down with Mountain Dew; and the other half will be burned to death while making YouTube videos for the first half to watch.
(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest for sending that one along. The BSBFB is grateful that he turned down the gig as Spinal Tap’s drummer back in the eighties to concentrate on his career as a Salvation Army musical director)