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Category: Crashing

Forget Neck-Pillows, This is the Kind of Comfort I Crave

Forget Neck-Pillows, This is the Kind of Comfort I Crave

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The nice thing about this helmet-gizmo is you get a comfy head pillow after the accident. You’d be pretty wiped out after a turbulent ride, so a big pillow is just what you need. And this isn’t just for after the accident; you now have a head pillow you can use for a long time. I bought this helmet and deliberately crashed my bike just so I can have a decent pillow at night.

My doctor says I may not walk again and that I’m a complete dolt, but a man needs his sleep!

370 MPH To 0 In Ten Seconds Or Your Pizza Is Free

370 MPH To 0 In Ten Seconds Or Your Pizza Is Free

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https://youtu.be/nlvwAHY3hfM

I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be inside a screaming metal deathtrap. I was expecting more of a 2001 A Space Odyssey sort of thing where you can watch yourself turn into a giant freaky space baby, so I’m a bit disappointed. There was a distinct lack of space babies in this video and way too much salt for my liking.

The driver seems to be okay. I saw bits of him moving after the crash, but whether or not those bits are attached to anything important is anyone’s guess.

You May Be Safer Than Everyone Else, But You’re Still Driving A Volvo

You May Be Safer Than Everyone Else, But You’re Still Driving A Volvo

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My name is Volvo, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of crashing into things that I developed over two seasons of crashing into bollards on the way to prom. It’s called Volvo Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to crash with the strength of a Sherman Tank, the reflexes of a breezeblock, and the wisdom of a man.

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Roads Are Optional And Bridges Don’t Really Matter

Roads Are Optional And Bridges Don’t Really Matter

A long while ago my father took me out to drive for the first time. I was young and borderline retarded, so the only experience I had ever had driving a car came from video games. Before we set off, I cleared my head of any previous knowledge I had acquired from running down pedestrians on the TV, so we might have a fighting chance of getting back alive. I had never sat behind the wheel before and my knees were jammed up under the steering wheel. I adjusted my mother’s seat and placed my hands at ten and two. My father was seated beside me and he looked on with a sense of vague disappointment as I struggled to put the car into drive. After some fiddling, I managed to get the car to move forwards.

My father reminded me to drive between the trees and look out the windshield occasionally. It saddens me to see that the person in this video did not have a father to tell them to buy a real car and drive on the right side of the road.

(Many thanks to an anonymous commenter for sending this along)