How to write an AC/DC song. Yeah, it’s glorious, Yeah, it’s right on the money. But they forgot to mention that you have to wear short pants while you’re composing and playing the song. And one more thing; you don’t sing like Marge Simpson to finish the effect. You sing like Patty and Selma Bouvier.
Ah, George of the Jungle. For readers of the BSBFB of a certain age, George of the Jungle will always be an amusing cartoon. For some reason, chicks prefer the live-action movie with Brendan Fraser in a buttflap. Chicks are weird, ain’t they? And what is it with chicks and horses, anyway?
At any rate, it may be time for a new version of George of the Jungle. I hereby nominate George of the Cliff Face here. Of course the theme song will require a rewrite:
George, George, George of the cliff face
Soaring like a hawk
Ahhh
Watch out for that rock!
George, George, George of the cliff face
Destined for the doc
Ahhh!
Watch out for that rock!
When he gets in a scrape
He makes his escape
And pays for the hospital
With this videotape
Then away he’ll schlep
With his internet rep
While YouTube and Instagram
Stay in step with
George, George, George of the cliff face
Next time check the wind sock
Ahhh!
Watch out for that (Ahhh) (Oooh) rock!
(Thanks to longtime reader Charles Schneider for sending that one along)
My name is Guido Hatzis, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of plumbing that I developed over two seasons of running pipe under the octagon. It’s called Guido Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to plumb with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.
I used to watch a lot of the Simpsons when I was growing up. It came on after Third Rock From the Sun, but before Seinfeld, and it was really the only show I was interested in. I haven’t seen very much of it lately, but from what I can tell I’m not missing very much. One of the main things I liked about early Simpsons episodes were the McBain shorts that were scattered around like little treats every season. I vividly remember telling my mother that I would watch a McBain movie if they made one. I feel as if a great burden has been lifted off of me now that I’ve seen the full McBain movie. It’s as glorious as I had hoped.
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