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Category: animation

Art Is Hard

Art Is Hard

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSQvx8mnLbY

I’m not an artist, nor have I ever claimed to be one. My watercolors are weak, my oil paintings are a mess, and my sculptures are all mesas done with mashed potatoes. I am not an artist. Not one iota of me knows how to manipulate the physical world to create something visually pleasing. I know better than to call myself a modern artist or a post-modernist, because I have at least a shred of dignity. I’d rather be called a regular ole hack than a post-modernist. At least I’m self-aware. I know I’m complete garbage. You don’t have to dress it up with a fancy name that has its own college degree and $80,000 of student debt.

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The Average Toronto Maple Leafs Game

The Average Toronto Maple Leafs Game

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=150&v=PZSiTUcV2Rg

If hockey was like this I think I’d watch more hockey — or any hockey at all, for that matter. I’m on a strict anti-sports diet at the moment. Whenever someone tries talks about sports or mentions a sport of any kind, I go into the bathroom and purge. I lost 15 pounds in a week, and I only had to go to the hospital twice!

I’m not too fond of my diet, so I tend to avoid people who talk about sports or participate in sports. Very often, if I see someone walking down the side of the road and they’re wearing a jersey of any kind I swerve to hit them. I don’t actually hit them; I much prefer giving them a little scare. At the last minute I’ll pull away, so the only thing that gets damaged is their pants from projectile crapping themselves.

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I’m Not Saying It Was Aliens — But It Was Aliens

I’m Not Saying It Was Aliens — But It Was Aliens

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Trust me, I watch the history channel; I know that it’s definitely aliens. It’s unequivocally aliens. There is no answer other than aliens. If this was a multiple choice test all the answers would be aliens.

Now that I’ve strongly expressed my opinions on the matter of aliens, it’s time for me to backpedal and go into the fetal position. It’s probably not aliens. When you look to the stars and see nothing staring back at you except for a poorly drawn ladle, then it’s probably not aliens. When your crops are defaced by giant flying saucers, then it’s probably not aliens. When democrats revert to their reptilian form, and devour their secretary whole, then who cares if it was aliens? Run away before they notice you’re there.

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Customer Service: The Worst Way To Make New Friends

Customer Service: The Worst Way To Make New Friends

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I have a really big problem, because I like talking to telemarketers and customer service. I like to give them a call every once in a while to see what’s up with them. I ask about their family, kids, etc. Usually they ask me to stop calling, and say something about contacting the police, but I ignore about 99 percent of what people say to me anyways.

I’d say that my most frequent encounters with customer service happen when I have to call my insurance company to file a claim. It happens a lot more often than you’d imagine, and I’m sure you can imagine it happening a lot.

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