Holy cow, Tom should just get a Vespa and get it over with. Maybe a wicker basket on the front to carry his terrier in. He should totally get those streamers that flutter from your handlebar grips. Maybe some baseball cards in his spokes.
And at the end, you know Tom’s New Friend is on her way to Tom’s Old Friend’s apartment.
With our without a Chantays soundtrack, the Pipeline on Oahu is the greatest place in the world to film surfers. And the march of technology has made drones and lightweight and rugged hi-def video cameras to ride them cheap. So there’s no better place to hang over the action and see what comes out of the curl — or not.
A 2600 horsepower, 1963 Ford Falcon? Hells yes!
But no, no, no. You can’t make it look like that. You should paint it that stale eggnog color popular on Fords back in the day. Get rid of the flashy wheels, and put some stamped steel with a bit of rust on the edges on there. Put a couple dents in a fender. Put a bent coat hangar in the little socket where the AM radio antenna used to go. Get some fuzzy dice, or a tassel from a high school graduation mortarboard, and hang it from the rear view mirror.
Then pull up next to, to, well, anything at a stoplight –from a Corvette to a Lambo — and give the guy the finger. When the light turns green, show him who’s boss. Very, very boss.
Secret revealed! How to make your boomerang come back!
There used to be this thingie. It was called a “Novelty Record.” It was a silly, pointless kind of funny ditty that used to come out of the radio a couple of times a day. Like this:
Near as I can tell, everything that comes out of the radio is a novelty record now. Katie Perry is just Alvin and the Chipmunks with a nicer rack and less charm.