When breaking into a house, the act of actually entering the house is the most important part. If you could knock on the door and politely ask permission to enter the domicile, I’m sure you would. However, in most cases you’ll be asked to leave. That’s no good. When push comes to shove, you might have to force your way into the house. That should be pretty easy. That should be the easiest part of the whole exercise. If you can’t get into the house, you should consider a different line of work, because it obviously doesn’t suit your delicate personality.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re a police officer, a home invader, Mormon, census taker, steak salesman, or a disgruntled neighbor looking for my got dang lawnmower, where the hell did you hide it. If you can’t bust down a door or bash in a window, you should just go home and think about where your life went so terribly wrong.