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Category: police

Have You Tried Ringing The Doorbell?

Have You Tried Ringing The Doorbell?

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When breaking into a house, the act of actually entering the house is the most important part. If you could knock on the door and politely ask permission to enter the domicile, I’m sure you would. However, in most cases you’ll be asked to leave. That’s no good. When push comes to shove, you might have to force your way into the house. That should be pretty easy. That should be the easiest part of the whole exercise. If you can’t get into the house, you should consider a different line of work, because it obviously doesn’t suit your delicate personality.

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Say You’re Sorry And We’ll Call It Even, Eh?

Say You’re Sorry And We’ll Call It Even, Eh?

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We’re Canadians, and if you study with our eight-week program you will learn a system of self-defense that we developed over two seasons of fighting in the octagon. It’s called Canadian Kwon Do! After one week with us in our eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to fight with the strength of a light breeze, the reflexes of gerbil, and the wisdom of a man.

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Bad Cop — No Succulent Chinese Meal For You

Bad Cop — No Succulent Chinese Meal For You

(Warning: Some vaguely Australian blithering)

Some legends are born, some are made from the fiery ashes of those who have fallen before them, and some are arrested for eating a succulent Chinese meal.

It’s hard being a champion among men; lesser individuals are always trying to uproot you from your high position. After a little bit of research I found out that our Australian friend here has angered a lot of lesser individuals to the point where he’s wanted by Interpol, the Hungarian National Police Force, and the Indonesian National Police for eating at fancy restaurants and not paying. But that makes no nevermind to our well-spoken friend.

Coincidentally, the Hungarian National Police Force is the name of my Wham tribute band, but that isn’t something anyone wanted to hear about in the first place.

Just Another Day In Las Vegas

Just Another Day In Las Vegas

At first I thought that this was from a sketch comedy show, or it was a parody of some sort, or it was scripted and everyone was just playing along. Then I came to the sad realization that it was a real thing that happened and these are vaguely real people. At one point in time there was a crazed midget wandering the streets of Las Vegas, and for one reason or another he was detained by the local authorities. This video was probably broadcast on national television before being plastered all over the Intertunnel, which is even more troubling.

 Personally, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I just wish someone told me sooner.