Hmm. Top speed: 3 miles per hour. That sounds suspiciously like the speed of Jamie Lee Curtis when she’s dragging one leg from a wound from Jason. It sounds vaguely like the speed of Boris Karloff when he’s stiff-legging it over the mountain after drowning that poor little girl. It sounds more or less like what physiologists call “preferred walking speed.”

I wonder what the preferred running speed is when you’re being pursued by a headless yellow pit bull moving at preferred walking speed.