The internet is a cruel mistress. They say a mistress is like a sailboat. The rigging always costs more than the hull. That’s why mistresses try to keep your attention on the rigging at all times. It’s good advice for how you behave on the internet, too. Keep an eye on your image, people.

I don’t know who this fellow is. He may or may not be a good drummer. He may or may not be a nice fellow. Until I discover any evidence to the contrary, I’ll assume he is a swell guy. But he’s got the internet tiger by the tail, and I wonder if he understands what’s happened to him. He wants to be famous musician, I imagine. He thinks the internet is the place where you get famous. Someone took a cameraphone video of him goofing around on the drums. Lots of people found it amusing, and he’ll get vaguely internet famous.

Be careful, my friend. You can try as hard as you want for the rest of your life, win Grammys, get gold discs, assemble battalions of groupies with great rigging by the score. But no matter how hard you try, people will walk up to you in the street and ask you, “Say, aren’t you the guy who juggles drumsticks in kitchens?”