Hello is always a fair place to start. “Give me your purse!” and “Would you like to see my knife collection?” rarely work for me, so I would advise sticking with something simpler. Even hi will work. If you’d like something less formal, grunt a few times. I’ve never tried it, but it will probably work. Girls are into that kind of thing — I think.

Now that I think of it, I’m not particularly sure of what girls do like. I’m relatively sure they like the strong silent type, but they never seem to like my strong and silent demeanor. This is probably why I don’t get invited to parties anymore. Standing in the corner and staring at girls all night, is probably frowned upon. Probably. Still, I’d say that James May is everyone’s best shot. If you see a girl, try saying hello to her. If that doesn’t work, ask her if she wants to meet your pet rock. That one always works like a charm. Until she finds out that you don’t actually have a pet rock; that’s usually a deal-breaker.