There was no obvious loss of life, and the thing technically went off without a hitch, but I’m still not entirely convinced that they’re ready to go to the Moon. The design is flawless. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a brilliant idea to design your spacecraft like a mix between a cheese grater and a Beyblade. My only concern is that it doesn’t seem to have any room to carry any small animals or humans into space. A man cannot walk on the Moon if the man is left at home, beer in hand, watching the explosions from the safety of his bamboo dinette set. They need to attach a lawn chair to that thing at the very least. If the government backs the project, they might be able to afford a fancy lawn chair from Target.

I once said that going to the Moon is piss easy, and I still stand by that claim. The only real issue that people encounter when shooting for the Moon is that they try to get cute with their rocket designs. The Russians had immense problems in the beginning because no one told them that you weren’t supposed to build your spacecraft out of concrete and dead dissidents. America kept their designs relatively streamlined, but we still managed to litter the Moon’s surface with semi-exploded satellites and debris. If anyone cares to look you can probably find Buzz Aldrin’s discarded pee bags. He might not have been the first man to walk on the Moon, but he didn’t whizzing everywhere.