I may not be very good at math, or science, or reading comprehension, or anything like that, but I really want whatever job this guy has. You get to electrocute yourself and make YouTube videos. Usually I have to stick a fork in a socket to get a buzz, he gets to do it for fun. He makes his own little circuits so he doesn’t even have to use the regular old fork technique. He’s playing way past that. He’s even past sticking your thumbs in the breaker box. He takes self-electrocution to a whole new level. He does it for science. The closest I’ve ever gotten to doing something for science was when I had a mole removed and they sent it off for extensive testing. I hope they’re using it for cloning. Anything short of cloning would be an immense disappointment.

The progression of science just seems like such a noble cause. If they find me stuck in one of the snowy fields outside my house; tell them I did it for science. It’s a lot more romantic than getting lost on the way to the bathroom. Worst case scenario I can donate my organs to science — they’ll probably get more use out of them than I ever did.