I want one. Hell, I want two. I know it’s just mom’s hair dryers on a stick, but it’s the greatest invention in the history of ever. Think of all the people I can annoy with one of these babies.

You  know, it’s getting so you can’t inconvenience and infuriate regular old skiers just by snowboarding anymore. You can crash into them all you want, litter the pistes with your prone and supine carcasses after your endless wipeouts — they’re used to it now. Jaded. But now, with this thing, you can bowl them over in the parking lot while they’re still trying to loosen the bungie cords on their Rossignols on their roof racks. We can ski on the walkways outside their condos. Hell, if you supercharge the apparatus, (you know I will) you’d be able to crash into them going uphill now. They’re never expecting that.

dreamscience propulsion