No, Florida residents, “frost heaves” are not what you get on Saturday morning if you drink too many Banana Daiquiris on Friday night. It’s what you get on your roads at the end of the winter if you live north of the Mason-Dixon line. Some people call it the Waffle House-IHOP line, but the point stands. Every road in the northern part of the country is going to make this race look like the Indianapolis 500 when Spring comes, which should be in mid-July in most places. Luckily, hardworking road crews will be out filling in all the potholes with that fabulous mixture of leftover Olive Garden croutons and discarded eyeshadow they call cold-patch.

Whatever. Hubcaps are for pussies anyway.

[Thanks to Charles Schneider for sending that one along]